I looked in the mirror yesterday and saw round cheeks, flabby arms, a jiggling tummy and thighs let’s not talk about the thighs.
I looked in the mirror yesterday and saw the decline of what once was comforting, soothing, medicating with chocolate, cake, chocolate cake even and fries, just another side of fries please. I looked in the mirror and looked at who I was becoming and frowned because instead of love I saw self-loathing, a hatred etched so deep, with the noise of voices screaming their judgment – all the shoulds, musts, must-nots.
I stepped away, looked away unable to see beyond the weight, as I climbed on the scale, again, to see if I was making any progress. “Weigh in once a week,” they say – well weigh in I manage to do but that’s all I manage to do, is weigh in.
I looked in the mirror today and saw a smile, eyes filled with light. I looked in the mirror and saw happiness, love and passion. I saw beauty! I looked in the mirror and saw strength, resilience, commitment. I looked in the mirror today and I saw dreams, I saw hope! Did I mention love?
My cheeks are still round, my tummy still flabby and yet, I am content with who I really am, not a number from a weigh-in. No longer reduced to a size.
Tomorrow when I look in the mirror I hope I remember who to see. I hope I remember to see me.