2019 has been a year of major shifts for me and as Summer got underway I was prompted to embark on an intense process of letting go. As with many processes there are no short cuts and I can openly admit that there was many a day when I bemoaned the laborious task of introspection, honest reflection and releasing the blame, the shame, the shoulda, woulda couldas…
As Autumn started, I felt a deeper pull to stop avoiding what I knew I needed to do and bearing in mind the adage – what you resist persists. Sigh. Oh journey of personal growth, why must you be so difficult?
No one really tells you how to let go, many people praise the benefits and yet a simple step by step system is missing. I’ve read the books, quoted the wisdom and yet letting go never really ‘happened’… Until I chose. I’d like to liken it to magic but that would be trite, it wasn’t magic. I had to design a system for myself of releasing the baggage I had been carrying, some of it baggage I didn’t know was still there, tucked away in the corners of this massive suitcase of yuck!
I wanted it to happen overnight; a month I thought would be enough to carefully assess the situation, and then one month turned into another and another, and here I am at the end of the year having come to the realization that letting go is a continuous process. I applied practical tools to my process to let go of those big rocks that were weighing me down and to some it may seem ludicrous but it worked.
I started by naming it; giving each item a label – fear, rejection, hurt, disappointment, criticism, perfectionism. Then I took some advice from a wise friend and wrote down how it felt, and what that cost me and with each individual item I threw it out – literally. I wrote it out on a piece pf paper, cut it up and threw it in the trash.
Look, this might all sound simple but it wasn’t. I felt the emotions and faced them instead of the tempting option to hide and pretend they didn’t exist. I NEEDED to let go.
I had to make room for all that was waiting for me, for the opportunities, the abundance, the hope, the faith, the freedom, I’ll say it again, the FREEDOM, that comes from not holding onto things that no longer serve you.
I felt lighter having released all that was holding me back. I look back at the year and realize it was time. But no one could make that decision for me, and no book could convince me, the onus was on me to make that first move.
The year is coming to an end and I sure am grateful that I’m not lugging that albatross with me into a new year, a new decade at that. Share with me, what are you leaving behind in 2019?